KICK START
by SPUD

We're gonna make a movie, and it's gonna go far.
If it's gonna be a big hit, we've gotta find a star.
We've got a funny story, and a really nifty script.
We've got a great director, when he read it, he flipped.

CHORUS
We need a  -uh- KICK START, to get it off the ground
We need a -uh - Mel Gibson to prove our idea's sound
               (Owen Wilson) (Johnny Depp)
We need a -uh- KICK START, before it gets too late

We need a -uh- Cameron Diaz to slide it across the plate
              (Lisa Kudrow) (Tina Fey)
END CHORUS

We need a sure winner, a big box office draw
Who's not to expensive, or in trouble with the law.
We'll give 'em a piece of the action, if they really insist,
So come on you guys, help me make a list.

INTERLUDE
Michael Douglas...Too Corporate
Gwyneth Paltrow...Too Skinny
Gerard Depardieu...Too French
Kevin Costner...Uh, Waterworld?
Doris Day...Too Old
Angelina Jolie...Too Scary
Hugh Grant...Too Sleazy
George Clooney...Too Expensive
Ralph Fiennes...Dead
Dennis Hopper...Give me the creeps
Elizabeth Taylor...You’re kidding, right?
Wesley Snipes...In Jail
Robert Downey Jr...Too Risky
Robert Redford...Too Retired
Jim Carrey...Too Gross
Woody Allen...Too Jewish
Eddie Murphy...Too Black
Richard Gere...Too Gay
Cameron Diaz ...Too Ditzy
John Malkovich...Yeah...John Malkovich
END INTERLUDE

We're really on our way, to big fortune and fame.
But for it all to happen, we've got to get a name.
We've started shooting background in our own backyard
But we need that special someone - can it really be that hard?

CHORUS